“I bristle at your selectively flimsy logic”: John Mayer addresses speculation around his relationship with TV host Andy Cohen

“Reinforcing the idea that any gay/straight relationship needs qualification that it’s not sexual devoids everyone involved of their dignity.”

John Mayer and Andy Cohen

John Mayer and Andy Cohen. Credit: Kevin Mazur/Getty

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John Mayer has spoken out about the speculation surrounding his friendship with the TV host Andy Cohen, arguing that the logic behind any rumours of them being romantically involved are “selectively flimsy”.

The pair have been friends for years but have constantly had to deny being more than that, even as far back as 2018. Nonetheless, Cohen said he was “not surprised” such rumours surfaced when “we also have a great love for each other… so, it just seems like the obvious assumption”.

The rumours were fuelled again when Cohen was asked about them in a cover interview for The Hollywood Reporter.

“Your friendship with Mayer has been the subject of intense speculation,” the interviewer remarked. “People seem dubious that a straight rock star can have a close, platonic relationship with a gay TV personality.”

Cohen’s response ended up going viral. “Let them speculate,” he said. “I honestly love John Mayer, and he loves me. But because we are so affectionate to each other, people don’t know what box to put that in. They assume we are sleeping with each other, which we are most definitely not.”

Mayer ended up writing a letter responding to the outlet, which it printed in full. He describes the basis for the question as a “somewhat of a specious premise”, writing: “First, there is a long and storied history of ‘rock stars’ (not mocking, just won’t refer to myself as one) befriending gay icons and artists.

“Second, I think that to suggest that people are dubious of a friendship like mine and Andy’s is to undermine the public’s ability to accept and understand diversity in all facets of culture, be it in art or in real life,” he writes. “I’d like to think they’re sophisticated enough to see a relationship like ours without assuming it must include a sexual component. That turns the concept of being gay into an ignorantly two-dimensional one, which I know you know it’s not. I don’t question that at all.”

He continues: “I love intelligent discourse – as I hope you’ll find this email to be – but I bristle at your selectively flimsy logic meant to coax an answer, when the premise itself is so deeply flawed, and quite possibly not even quantitatively true.

“Quite simply, if someone is dubious of a platonic relationship between a straight man and a gay man, I don’t think that shallow a view deserves clarification by anyone with self respect, be it Andy or your publication. Reinforcing the idea that any gay/straight relationship needs qualification that it’s not sexual devoids everyone involved of their dignity.”

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