(Un)Fortunately, Robert Fripp’s near-naked OnlyFans announcement was just an April Fool’s joke

Take Robert Fripp’s love for the outlandish and April Fool’s Day and what do you get? A semi-naked video of the Crimson King guitarist stroking his Les Paul while plugging his very-real OnlyFans account, of course.

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In the spirit of 1 April, the 77-year-old rock star declared on his official Twitter/ X page, “Robert has officially joined OnlyFans! Subscribe now for exclusive, jaw-dropping content you never knew you needed…”

Accompanying the caption is a sultry, hiphop-beat-soundtracked video of Fripp sitting butt-naked on a staircase, with a guitar strategically nestled where no guitars should ever have to go — right between his bare legs. It’s a spectacle that’ll leave you wondering, “Is this all just a bizarre fever dream?”

Unfortunately for those who’ve found themselves newly invested in Fripp’s side hustle, the accompanying link www.onlyfans.com/RobertFripp leads you to a page which says “Sorry, this page is not available”.

And now for the musician’s main job, the guitarist and his wife Toyah have posted a new Sunday Lunch video this Easter Sunday. In the clip, we have the pair wearing furry Easter Bunny masks as they deliver a (family-friendly) cover of Roadkill by American rock band Starcrawler.

Check out the cover below.

Since the start of the pandemic in 2020, Fripp and Toyah’s Sunday Lunch series has seen them cover a host of rock classics, including Foo Fighters’ All My Life, Rage Against The Machine’s Killing In The Name Of, Pantera’s 5 Minutes Alone, and most recently,  (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!) by Beastie Boys.

While Robert Fripp’s OnlyFans page was just an April Fool’s joke, you can check out more from him and his wife Toyah over at their official YouTube channel.